I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
