would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
