OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
