Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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