When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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