why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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