i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
