finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sorry my hands just texted you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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