Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
