my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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