Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
