i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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