She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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