does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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