the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
