if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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