i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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