cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
