Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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