the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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