the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
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No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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