He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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