he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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