i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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