I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
