TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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