..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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