Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
