Are we in a gay sports bar?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
