better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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