So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
