I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
