There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
