Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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