i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Someone signed my nipple.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
