At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
