O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Never joke about your clitoris.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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