The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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