Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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