last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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