What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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