Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
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I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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