Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
