If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize