In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
