I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
