if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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