no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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