carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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