i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm really busy with my period
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