Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize