Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
