great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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