These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
