Dual....:-)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
