I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just invented taco cereal.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
