you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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