Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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