There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I cockslap morals
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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