So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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