no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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