Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
