Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
