he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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