Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize