He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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