yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
